Your complete source for all things alcohol compliments of William the Bartender.

Episode #64: Blue Hawaiian & the Original Piña Colada

Blue Hawaiian

1 oz rum
1 oz blue curacao
1 oz cream of coconut
2 oz pineapple juice

Add all ingredients to a glass topped with ice. Stir (or shake), and garnish with pineapple wedge & tiny little umbrella. Remember to drink “pinky up.”

the Original Piña Colada

2 oz light rum (e.g., Bacardi)
6 oz pineapple juice
2 oz coconut cream
A dash of triple sec and/or amaretto (optional)

Fill a pint glass with ice. Add all ingredients & treat as you would a Polaroid picture. Strain into wine glass. (Tip: whipping up the coconut cream in a blendy device first will help smooth it out.)

Episode #63: French Kiss

champagne
apricot brandy
ginger beer
raspberry puree (Chambord works well, too)

Put a dollop of each ingredient except champagne in the bottom of a champagne flute. Top off with a bit of the bubbly, and enjoy.

BONUS: “Mushle up” some fruit & put it in the bottom of your flute to give your champagne a little something special.

Episode #60: GINorade (via Brendan the Daytime Drunk)

32 oz bottle Lemon-Lime Gatorade (cold)
Gin

Drink the Gatorade down to the top of the label. Fill back up with gin. Remember to keep it classy! (Optional “Baby Girl” version: use a 24 oz bottle, and drink down to the bottom of the indentation.)

Episode #55: Vesper – the original drink of James Bond

3 oz dry gin (Bootles is recommended)
1 oz vodka
1/2 – 3/4 oz Lillet (sweet, French aperitif white wine)
lemon twist

Fill a pint glass with rocks (ice, dumbass – not real rocks), and add gin, vodka, and Lillet. More Lillet = more sweet. Shake. Strain into martini glass. Garnish with lemon twist.

Episode #54: Hot Toddy & Blueberry Tea

Blueberry Tea

1 oz Gran Marnier
1 oz Amaretto
black tea (Earl Grey or Darjeeling)
1 cinnamon stick & a lemon or orange wedge (optional)

In a heat-safe glass, combine the Gran Marnier, Amaretto & pour in the brewed black tea. Garnish with cinnamon & citrus wedge if you want to be fancy.

Hot Toddy

1.5 oz whiskey or brandy
1 oz lemon juice (freshly squoze)
1 tbsp honey

Mix whiskey, lemon juice & honey in heat-safe glass. Add some hot water. Heal.

Episode #52: Cilantro & Cucumber Martini

2.5 oz floral gin (Aviation or Bombay Saphire are recommended)
several peeled cucumber slices
2-3 sprigs of cilantro

Add cucumber slices & cilantro to the bottom of a pint glass, then add ice. Muddle. Add gin. Shake. Strain into martini glass, being sure none of the vegetation makes it into the finished cocktail. Imbibe.

WtB gets a shout-out from Urban Outfitters!

William the Bartender was mentioned in a “Best places to drink in Seattle” review on Urban Outfitters’s's’s blog. I don’t know what drinking & shopping have in common, except that you have to be drunk to pay what Urban Outfitters charges for stuff, but this is pretty rad:

Flower’s Bar & Restaurant
(4247 University Way NE; (206) 633-1903): “A gem in the University District. The bartender, William, has a heavy hand. The bar has a great crowd of regulars and drink specials every night. Definitely worth the bus trip.” —M.B.

We are taking full responsibility for this, and wish William the best on his rocketship to Superbardom.

Episode #38: Margaritas

Traditional Margarita

1.5 oz silver tequila
1 oz triple sec (or Cointreau if you’re feeling ritzy)
1.5 – 2 oz freshly squeezed lime juice

Fill a rocks glass with ice. Add tequila, then triple sec (or Cointreau), then lime juice. Stir & enjoy. If you prefer a sweeter drink, feel free to add some finely granulated sugar. For a salted rim, run a lime wedge around the rim of your glass and dip into Kosher salt before adding ice.

Cucumber Margarita

1.5 oz silver tequila
1 oz triple sec (or Cointreau if you’re feeling ritzy)
1.5 – 2 oz freshly squeezed lime juice
1/4 cup thinly sliced cucumber
1 Tbsp finely granulated sugar

Add cucumber to the bottom of a rocks glass, then add sugar, then add ice. Muddle the ingredients together. Add tequila, then triple sec (or Cointreau), then lime juice. Stir & enjoy.

Episode #37: Mojito

2 oz silver rum
several lime slices (enough for 1 oz of lime juice)
6 – 8 fresh mint leaves
1 tbsp simple syrup (or finely granulated sugar)

Throw limes and then mint leaves into the bottom of an empty pint glass. Add rum and sugar. Muddle (grind) the ingredients together until the limes have been juiced & the mint has been “opened up.” Then fill the glass with ice, and top off with soda water.

Episode #35: Hey, Ben!

Bartender William is getting schooled this week (in the best way possible) at UW, so I figured I’d toss out a simple, tasty drink I’ve been enjoying on our newly warm evenings- pour one part vanilla vodka, one part tonic over ice. mmmm… 2 oz. each should do the trick- maybe i’ll call it “vanilla ice…”

Hi. It’s Aaron now, and I wanna add a vanilla vodka drink I’ve been enjoying lately, too. Simply mix vanilla vodka with apple juice. I usually go about 40/60.  It’s like Mr. Pibb + Red Vines (aka “crazy delicious”).

Episode #31: At the Party

Etiquette

Don’t be a drunk asshole.

Games

Edward 40-Hands: Duct tape a 40oz bottle of alcohol to each of your hands* and start drinking.  You are only allowed use of your hand when its bottle has been completely emptied.  No cheating.  Good luck taking a whiz.

* You’re probably going to need some help with this.  Also, wearing gloves might make the de-taping a bit easier (but after your second 40, that may not matter so much.)

Strikeout:

1 “water-pipe” packed with “smoke of choice”
1 shot hard alcohol of choice
1 can/bottle/glass beer of choice

Take a hit of your “smoke of choice,” preferably from a “water-pipe,” but do your best Whitney Houston/Angela Bassett impression and wait to exhale. Then take your shot.  Then chug your beer.  THEN exhale.  For the record, we warned you.

“Withnail & I” - Try to keep up with the main character in this British cult classic.

Episode #30: Party Planning

Tip 1: Mini Bottles Buy lots of mini bottles of hard alcohol.  It’s easy, can be cheaper, clean-up is a cinch, and can provide you with a greater variety of alcohols if you don’t want to spend a lot of money.  Your guests will think it’s rad, too.

Tip 2: Shots for Annoying Guests

Cement Mixer

1 shot Baileys Irish Creme
1/4 shot fresh lime or lemon juice

Fill a shot glass with Baileys and add lime/lemon juice. Stir briefly and give to the drinker OR have the drinker take the shot and shake his/her head.  The citrus juice will curdle the Baileys to the consistency of oatmeal or cottage cheese.

Prairie Fire

1 shot tequila
dash of tobasco

Combine ingredients.  Observe the fire-like redness of the hot sauce.  Shoot.

Episode #29: DIY Sparks

40 oz bottle of Olde English 800 malt liquor
1 can of Red Bull

Drink the OE down to the top of the label.  Pour in Red Bull.  Replace broken cinderblock holding up the trailer you live in.  “Enjoy.”

Non-Episodic St. Patrick’s Day Special Formerly Facebook-Exclusive European-Imported Bonus Recipes:

Irish Car Bomb …for pounding while watching any of the “Leprechaun” movies.

1/2 shot Baileys Irish Creme
1/2 shot Jameson Irish whiskey
3/4 pint Guinness Stout

Fill a shot glass with half Baileys and half Jameson, and drop it into the glass of Guinness. Drink it fast.

Irish Trash Can …for drinking until you start seeing actual Leprechauns.

1/2 oz gin
1/2 oz light rum
1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz peach schnapps
1/2 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
1/2 oz triple sec
1 can Red Bull® energy drink

Fill a glass full of ice, add all the liquors and stir. Add Red Bull®. The Red Bull® will float at first, then slowly sink down, and your drink will turn green.

Episode #22: Dark & Stormy and Barracuda

Dark & Stormy

1.5 oz dark rum (Meyers)
3-4 oz ginger beer (or ginger ale)

Pour rum into a glass w/ice. Add ginger beer. Drink.

Barracuda

1.5 oz gold rum
1 oz Galliano
3 oz pineapple juice
1/2 oz fresh lime juice

Add ingredients into ice-filled shaker. Shake. Pour into ice-filled glass. Drink.

BONUS White Trash drink: Boilermaker!

Just add a shot of cheap whiskey to a crappy beer. That’s it. Great for drinking while sharpening your knife collection, ignoring your wife, trying to figure out what to do with the major appliances out on your lawn, or watching re-runs of “Mind of Mencia.”

Episode #21: Long Island Iced Tea

3/4 oz white rum (or gold rum for lighter taste)
3/4 oz gin
3/4 oz vodka
3/4 oz tequila (reposado for lighter taste)
3/4 oz triple sec

1.5 oz sour mix
2-3 oz cola

Pour alcohols into a pint glass filled with ice, followed by sour mix & cola. Top with lemon and/or cherry, and add a straw for stirring. Keep face from hitting sidewalk when leaving.

Silver Monk

1.5 oz tequila
1/2 oz chartreuse
3/4 oz sour mix
1/2 oz simple syrup

Shake ingredients with 2 cucumbers and 2 mint leaves. Strain over ice or into a martini glass.

Episode #20: DANTE’S ASS CRACK

[the Official Go'Rad shot]

1 shot Jagermeister
1 shot Rumpleminz
1 shot Goldschlager
1/2 to 1 shot of motherfuckin’ Tapatio hot sauce (1/2 is preferred)

Mix ingredients in a pint glass full of ice. Shake and pour. Serves about 3,so probably don’t drink the whole thing by yourself.

Episode #18: Martinez

2 oz Old Tom Gin
1/2 oz sweet vermouth
1/4 oz maraschino liqueur
1 dash orange bitters (regular Angostura can be substituted)

Mix all ingredients along with cracked ice into a shaker. Shake and strain into a martini glass.

Episode #17: Hot Toddy

1.5 oz whiskey
1 oz lemon juice (freshly squoze)
1 tbsp honey

Mix whiskey, lemon juice & honey in heat-safe glass. Add a little more than 1/2 cup of hot water and enjoy.