Our collection of words & phrases we like to use (and so should you):

BABY GIRL \BAY-bee gurl\, noun: 1. a man who is complaining, usually regarding physical activity  “No, it’s ok, baby girl, I’ll carry the equipment.” 2. a man behaving in a belligerent manner towards you  “Relax, baby girl.” This sarcastic phrase is used to both disarm & humiliate any man who is acting foolishly. Not only is it emasculating, as you are calling a man both a “baby” and a “girl,” it provides for the contrasting of your cool demeanor to their emotional outburst(s), highlighting said foolishness.  [see also: stop being a bitch]

BARACUS \buh-RACK-us\, adj: thoroughly rad; awesome  “Seth left 10 voicemails. That dude is baracus!” Derived from the name of Mr. T’s character B.A. Baracus on the mid-80s TV hit “The A Team,” it was believed that B.A. stood for “Bad Ass,” a synonym of the term baracus.

BETH \behth\, noun: a generic term for women notable for having an unusual amount of fat  “I think that Beth just ordered 2 entrees!” The term dates back to Listener Rusty’s observation that he never knew a girl named Beth who was not overweight. “Beths” can often be found by themselves on casino dance floors, dancing to Creedence cover songs as illustrated by Daniel & Ben Parsons here.

CHRISSED \krist\, adj: enjoying significant quantities of alcohol without experiencing any negative side-effects commonly associated with drunkenness  “Dan was so chrissed at his birthday party – he didn’t stop dancing!” This term is named after Aaron’s friend Chris, who, despite his small stature, can drink more than anyone he’s ever known with very little side effects.

• NOTE: Chrissed is a delicate balance of several important factors, and in order to qualify, one must satisfy all three of the following conditions: 1. considerable alcohol intake; 2. jovial demeanor; 3. sober-esque lucidity

CLOWN SHOES \klown shooz\, adj: ridiculous/absurd; amateur <negative connotation>  “George W. Bush is clown shoes.” Nothing is more illustrative of absurdity than over-sized shoes.

NASSATAL \NASS-uh-tall\, adj: lacking a rear-end of desired size/shape; flat-assed  “Gina’s cute, but she’s got nassatal.” A contracted form of “no ass at all.” Aaron had a friend in high school, Salim Aziz, who once said this to him.  He is still laughing about it.  [see also: butterface]

SAC UP \SAK up\, verb (imperative): 1. to gather ones courage  “Sac up and talk to her, dude.” 2. to stop complaining or whining  “Are you crying? Sac up!” Used most often among men as both a command and a reminder of ones testicular fortitude.  [see also: stop being a bitch]

SHATNER \SHAT-nur\, <also: WILLIAM SHATNER> 1. noun: an act of defecation “I have to take a (William) Shatner.” 2. verb: to defecate  “Which one of you dickheads Shatnered in the pool?!” Derived from the informal, and widely accepted past tense of shit: “shat.”

TO LOSE ONE’S PHONE phrase: to be very, very intoxicated; wasted  “Can somebody keep an eye on Karen, please? She’s lost her phone.” Inspired by true stories of drunken people losing their cell phones in bars, cabs and various other locales, losing ones phone is notedly different from “chrissed,” where the inebriated is still in retention of his/her dignity.  [see also: sloppy drunk]

TRIG \trig\, 1. adj: stupid; non-functioning  “This PC is so trig.” 2. noun: a mentally handicapped person  “Check out that trig picking his nose.” Used chiefly as an under-the-radar way to say “retarded” without fear of offending people.  First coined whist viewing the 2008 Republican National Convention, as Trig is the name of AK Gov. Sarah Palin’s youngest child, who is afflicted with down syndrome.

WHO YOU READIN’ TO, DONNY? \hoo yoo REED’-en too DAHN-ee\,  phrase (interrogative): a response intended to insult/confuse someone who is 1. stumbling over his/her words or 2. not making any sense. “-Glenn Beck is smart & not crazy. -Who you readin’ to, Donny?” Spoken into existence by Nick Corns, this phrase is used to make someone feel like an idiot.  [see also: What the hell are you talking about?]